'Babies Won’t Be Had From Lack of Condoms,' Wellness Crew Member Shares
Sierra Davis | February 10, 2022
Quinn Bonney
“The Health Center is looking for a large package that was delivered to the mail room and has now disappeared,” read the email from Student Life at 1:40 p.m. on February 7. “This box contains an important supply of condoms that Wellness and the Health Center provides as a free resource for all students.”
While many Wilsoners were in class, and many were not, an apparent problem was broadcasted to all student email accounts: somehow, someway, somebody lost a massive box of condoms.
“All I know is that it came to the post office,” said Patricia Parker, affectionately known as Nurse Pat across Warren Wilson College (WWC) campus. “And we used a tracking number to track it, and we know it was received here, but we don’t know what happened after that.”
According to Parker, this package contained 1,000 condoms.
“Those were slated to be passed out to students …,” Parker said. “We make up bags for the RAs, RDs — that’s what you guys see out in your dorms — and people of course can come by and pick up whatever they need, when they need it.”
This roughly four-and-a-half pound problem has sat with the Wellness Crew and Health Center for a few days now. According to Cameron Voytko, junior social work major on the Wellness Crew, the condom fiasco was brought up at the crew meeting last Thursday, but nobody had any tips or clues as to where the rubbers went.
“I really didn’t expect them to send out an email to the entire school, so that was kind of funny,” said Voytko, explaining that she didn’t realize the missing package was a reason to alert every student.
Screenshot of the WWC app responding to the Durex debacle.
Logan Puryear, WWC mailroom supervisor, declined an interview with The Echo on the condom-gate matters, but Parker assured that Puryear is getting to the bottom of this issue. While nobody interviewed could give insight as to what happened, no party thinks this was intentional.
“I don’t know where they could be, because I feel like the post office has been pretty (strict) about giving people packages that don’t belong to them,” Voytko said. “… Maybe they just got lost, but it’s funnier to imagine someone on campus with a huge box of condoms.”
Though alarm bells rang through the student body, as well as phone notifications from the WWC app, students can rest peacefully knowing no holidays — read: Valentine’s Day — will be disrupted by this missing package. When asked about how many condoms students have access to without this shipment, Voytko, also known as a Condom Fairy, made it clear that there would be plenty of goods to go around.
“We have so many,” Voytko said in reference to the bountiful protection available to all students through this Google Form. “Like, so, so, so, so many. … We have an entire drawer system of every kind of condom imaginable. I feel like people don’t understand the scope of how many we have — it’s truly, it’s so, so many. And so I think we’ll be fine.”
The Condom Fairy, a service for free lube and barriers for students delivered to mailboxes, isn’t the only thing to keep your eyes peeled for from the Wellness Crew, though. Mindfulness workshops are on the horizon, along with tabling in Gladfelter for Valentine’s Day goodies.