Single Parenting in America vs. Ghana
Ruby Karyo | November 15, 2023
Single parenting in America differs significantly from what I have experienced in Ghana. Like the saying, "It takes a village to raise a child," in America, it takes a single parent, childcare or a court decision to raise one.
Research shows that single parents face more severe stress from having kids than a family does. Since the early 2000s, there has been a significant change regarding the ethics and culture of parenting.
Approximately 30% of Ghanaians live in single-parent households and in Ghana it takes a whole community to raise a child. Studies have found that parenting in Ghana broadly fits into the authoritarian parenting style, characterized by a high degree of control and low levels of warmth.
The Ghana report shows if we look at how we raise our kids in the United States, it is largely individualistic, like most things in the U.S. We live in isolated homes in spread-out communities, and we are lucky if our kids make it to a couple of birthday parties for classmates in a year. For those with large families, things are easier. With cousins, you have a built-in social cushion, but raising children can be lonely for those with small families or families far away.
When I first became a mom in America, I felt more depressed than I had ever experienced. I had to go back to work six weeks after birth with no pay, and I had to pay for childcare and bills without spending much time with my child. This can cause anxiety, depression and even suicidal thoughts. Moreover, if the court system is involved, it can cause you more harm than healing. For experiences with the court system, everyone has different stories. Some might be successful. Others might be overwhelmed, and though some parents like me want to deal with matters outside the courts, the other parent could want otherwise, complicating things.
Raising a child in America as a single parent is stressful, especially when the country is isolated regarding help, unlike in Ghana, where your next-door neighbor is your family or like a grandma. In America, you are alone. In Ghana, parents are more prone to sympathize with raising the child than involving a third party. While co-parenting comes with some benefits, like getting time to yourself and shared financial responsibilities, it can also be difficult – and having the other parent in the picture can sometimes bring an additional layer of stress to single parenting: mental health. I believe that the court takes less action on mental health regarding single parenting, and this needs to be addressed.
As a single mother for the past five years, I believe America is not the best country to raise kids. Minorities like us face financial hardships, debts, loans and mental stress. The schools are unsafe, and life gets harder. I believe that American society must improve the system of single parenting and families facing this roller-coaster emotional and mental stress that needs attention and awareness.