Sobriety as Counterculture
Abbie Ervin | January 25, 2023
Abstract
To the outside world, Warren Wilson College is an institution marked by drug and party culture. Though these assumptions could apply to a majority of the student body on campus, how does this stereotype affect people who don't fall into this lifestyle on this campus? Being sober or refraining from substance use is often a personal and nuanced choice a person makes based on their experiences or desired lifestyle. There is no cut-and-dry explanation for someone's choice for sobriety or refrain, and in this ethnography, I will be focusing on the students on campus who challenge the stereotypes around substance use on this campus. Two of the students interviewed for this research are choosing to abstain from substance use on campus, while one of the other interviewees is a participant in the 'party and drug' culture. Which, to the outside world may seem like a counter-culture, but on the Warren Wilson campus is mainstream.
Mini Ethnography: Sobriety as Counterculture
Warren Wilson College has gained a reputation as a hippie, trustafarian, farm school, throughout its more modern history, attending this institution may solidify this assumption. Walking across campus you might find yourself running into a handful of giggly young adults emerging from the woods or any of the dozens of common recreational smoking areas. American college’s drug and party culture lives differently on this campus than that of a state or public school but is still ever present on campus. Step into any dorm (any day of the week, day or night) and you will find a sweet spot outside of someone's door that is indicative of their habitual consumption of weed, go to any smoke hut and you will find remnants of spliffs and joints, blown out bowls, shattered pieces, and glassy-eyed students. On the weekend nights, you may find students sitting outside drinking PBR or some sort of craft beer, chain-smoking packs of their eight-dollar light blue American Spirits, or the cheaper, more sleazy choice of Marlboro Reds. On weekends during the days, you may find students basking in the sun like lizards in dogwood, philosophy, and science majors bonding over the substances altering their chemistry and their perception of reality. Big parties are far and few between since the pandemic, but a casual kickback is a remedy for the school's seemingly harsher party policies. Now and then however there will be a larger party in one of the dorm buildings: people partying in the common room, dancing and playing games, people sneaking away to dorm rooms of their friends to indulge in some more bottom-shelf liquor or some harder substance, people climbing on elevated surfaces, and people standing outside smoking out of limp wrists, chatting in low tones, now and then glancing in on the madness as if to separate themselves from the rest of the partygoers. The overwhelming expectation is for students at Warren Wilson to participate in this culture, a party culture to which outside the bubble of the college may be a counterculture but attending the college is mainstream. The expectation is to participate in this party culture but there is another form of sub/counterculture on campus that often gets overlooked: sobriety and refraining from substances.
Through anthropological, sociological, and just general social studies, it is clear that stereotyping is harmful and can leave people out. Warren Wilson, with the reputation it holds, may not be representative of all the students on campus. I chose to interview people who live soberly on campus at Warren Wilson College. I approached this topic as gently as possible because of the amount of nuance that there is in someone's choice to be sober. I had to unravel some of my ideas around sobriety as well and understand where I stood on my definitions and the realities of using or refraining from substances throughout my early adult years. I will be exploring the notion that there is no such thing as one size fits all definitions or ideas for people living soberly, or any group in general.
Megan Foothead
I sourced my interviews through friends and a school group chat. I planned with some basic questions but found as our conversations flowed, the more comfortable and conversational the interviews felt. Before both of my interviews with the folks who are sober, I made sure to let them know that though I am not a professional, I will try my best to approach this topic with understanding and gentleness, and for the interviewees to understand that I would be open to their opinions or feedback if any of the topics made them uncomfortable. My first interview was with Megan Foothead, a first-year student at Warren Wilson this year. They are 23 years old and are from Boston, Massachusetts. Warren Wilson College is the first college they have attended. As I walked to meet with them on the porch of the only cafe on campus, I saw them catching up with some of their friends, I was out of breath and offered to buy them coffee and a snack to build some comfort. To my surprise, the shop was only taking cash. Megan greeted me with a hug and we sat down at a two-person table, with the late afternoon sun shining in our eyes, we adjusted so that we were able to be comfortable and started the interview with some basic conversation about our plans for the weekend and my compliments on their awesome chest piece tattoo. Before we even started our conversation on the topic of sobriety, we both acknowledged how many parties and events have been happening in the past couple of weeks and how we are both burnt out. The very first question I asked Foothead was what their definition of sobriety was to them:
Foothead : "I've been thinking about that since we kinda talked about it in class… I guess to me it's just like, just like… not… it's a hard question."
Ervin: “ No, it is a hard question!”
Foothead: "I guess for me, I just don't consume substances that make me feel like dependent on them, in general, I think it is something I try to do, but I guess the way I define sobriety specifically is like I'm not taking anything that's like changing my mental state… I guess I drink coffee sometimes and even that feels a little… like Woah.
(We talk about how coffee makes us feel before getting back on topic)
Ervin: “I know that a lot of people have different definitions of sobriety… Do you think the definition of sobriety is fluid?..”
Foothead: I feel like that's everyone's personal relationship with it, so I feel like for me I think it's okay to have a fluid definition, just whatever is like… yeah I guess whatever is most helpful for someone who is like " I want to be sober, and this is how I am going to define sobriety". I think that makes sense, I call myself sober but once in a while I will genuinely have a sip or wine or something but I don't end up feeling anything, so it's like… I think there's probably some people who would say you're not sober if you consume anything ever at all. Like one time… I was around someone who was smoking weed and I ended up getting a little high and was like "f*ck! Am I not sober now?"... I feel like, I think it's good that people have their own definitions''
After this initial definition from Foothead, I go into further detail explaining my interest in identifying what is considered counterculture on campus, connecting it to the very American cultural phenomenon of mass consumption. Megan and I’s conversation now shifts to the connection between smoking weed as a pastime and sort of connecting ritual, with Megan describing it as counterintuitive for them because when they had been smoking with people as a means to connect, the substance ended up making them feel disconnected, even if they were spending large amounts of time with those same people. Furthermore, Megan can also acknowledge how it has helped them as a medicinal treatment but then turned to a point when it began to be a problem they wanted to confront.
Megan goes on to talk about how they feel supported in their sobriety on campus, mostly describing it through their friends and the boundaries they have set up with their friends. Foothead describes a sense of pride they have for their friends when they acknowledge their own struggles with substances and describes feeling supported. However, when asked about the broader campus community’s support they feel differently:
Ervin: Something you made me think of is just how difficult it may be for someone or for people to… feel supported in their sobriety here. So do you feel like there is an active and accepting sober community here at Wilson?
Foothead: Honestly I would say there's not much of a community around it, I feel like.. I touched on having like lifting conversations with friends… who are just like “I feel bad when I do this, why do I do this, I don’t want to do this anymore” and those conversations have been nice but I don’t really feel like there is a community around it and I feel like that would be something that is very valuable. Having that. That’s where a fluid definition for sobriety could be helpful, because people who either want to be sober or who just want to have a more intentional relationship with drug use. Because that was where I would say sobriety began for me, when I was like “Wow I smoke 3, 4, 5, times a day, that's way too much, I don’t feel good about that.” And even if my goal in that period wasn’t “I want to be sober” I still want to be aware of my relationship with drugs and have intentionality with my drug use. And I think that can be valuable for anyone, even if their end goal never becomes sobriety, I think being intentional is really important in any area of life… If there is going to be drug use at Warren Wilson, which I think there will always be, having intentionality is a good way to make sure people are safe when they're doing stuff…
Having that integrated understanding of what sobriety is can be helpful to people who are struggling with addiction and who want to be sober, and also with people who maybe just want to have a better relationship with their drug use. And I feel like having a really rigid definition can kind of come associated with having shame about past drug use or if you.. Are sober and made a mistake or like f*cked up and drank or smoked or something there's so much shame attached to that, so having those fluid understandings can be very beneficial. That's sort of like I morphed my answer into…
Ervin: No! That was beautiful, I really liked this term you said “integrated understanding of sobriety”, that’s f*cking awesome!
Foothead and I continued the conversation by discussing some of their more personal interests and things they’ve found joy in since they have decided to become sober. They noticed how much more they did when they stopped smoking, and how currently their obsession is ceramics, spending 20 hours a week in the studio, they’re playing more music, and “setting more expectations” for themself. They noticed how much more connected they feel to people at Wilson even though they haven’t spent much time here, compared to the relationships they have at home. Saying “If weed was a part of those relationships, it takes so much longer to get the same quality of connection.” Going on to say if they threw weed on top of their heightened responsibilities as a student that they would be making their life difficult. We wrapped our conversation by asking if Foothead had any questions for me which they responded with “Do you have hopes for this project… I like to start conversations… what's your vision for that?” I responded by describing that I want to acknowledge the elephant in the room about how “goddamn high” people get, and how the lack of accountability allows people to become irresponsible, and how the culture of consumption allows people to fall through the cracks. I described wanting to be able to support people, and myself as I have noticed how substance use has impacted my relationships and how my friends and I interact and socialize around the use of a substance. Acknowledging the reality and the peer pressure by proximity of smoking weed and drug use, and trying to determine if people feel supported, especially if there can be changes in our institution to add programming to support sobriety, harm reduction, or just conversations. After we had wrapped up our discussion we parted ways, Megan provided a lot of very valuable insight into what it means for them to be sober, matched with eloquent and collaborative conversation. Their interview proved to be fruitful.
Grace
Grace is another student I chose to interview. I put out a message in a school group chat and she responded promptly. It took a bit to figure out a good time for us to meet, and the only convenient way was through google meet. We sat down at four on a Thursday afternoon, me at my messy dorm desk and her in her dorm, getting a glimpse into her life through a pixelated frame on my cracked laptop screen. Grace is a 20 year old Art and English double major here at Warren Wilson College. She is from Miami, Florida and has been in college for 3 years.
After discussing how our day and week are going, we started to enter conversation about the topic of sobriety. Again I prefaced this conversation with saying it can be weird to get into such a blunt topic and how at any point I would appreciate feedback. I asked Grace the same question that I had asked Megan at the beginning of the interview: “What is your definition of Sobriety?”
Grace: Clarifying question… In general or for myself?
Ervin: So that’s my second clarifying question… in the context of yourself or in broader expectations. And do you think that the definition of sobriety should be fluid?
Grace: … So yeah I would just say, the first thing that comes to mind is sobriety is… (sigh) I guess my basic definition would be sobriety is not engaging in recreational substances such as alcohol or other types of drugs. But obviously prescriptions are drugs and caffeine is a drug so I would… well I guess that's kind of… not engaging in most substances…
(She continues to describe the societal definition of not sober)
In terms of whether or not it should be fluid I do 100% think it should be fluid. Like if someone struggles with alcoholism, and becomes sober and still occasionally smokes cigarettes like they still consider themselves sober that's still 100% sober. So I think it depends on the person and their experiences, for me it does mean not smoking anything, not uh… only drinking alcohol sips at a time to taste things and definitely not getting under the influence of something recreational. For myself.
I chose to start off with this question because I feel like it offers a good opportunity to compare between the interviewees and their beliefs. Megan and Grace both believe that the definition of sobriety should be fluid but for different reasoning, Grace identifies a more literal definition of sobriety while Megan almost identifies a more personal definition rooted in the philosophy of listening to their body. Both of the definitions however are valuable and encourage an understanding of sobriety that is more individualized. Grace and Megan also have different reasons for sobriety in the first place. As mentioned before Foothead was a substance user and decided it was not for them but Grace has refrained from using substances her whole life. Grace brings up a point to say that in the broader understanding from society, saying:
“I definitely think that… the phrase “someone being sober”, people tend to associate that more with people who are recovering from addiction or who were once addicted and are now sober, and at least for me personally that isn't the case.”
Grace brings up an important assumption that I even had going into this project, the assumption that to become sober you had to have experienced a struggle with addiction, specifically alcohol as Grace points out. Grace identifies that it was never an active decision, that she just never did anything in highschool, especially since she was homeschooled. Describing that substance use wasn’t on her radar, despite having some opportunity, acknowledging some of her family history with substance use as a coping mechanism.
Grace and I then start to discuss the party culture on Warren Wilson Campus. We connected over our surprise of a hazing ritual culture, despite seeming like a less than fraternity culture school. She had the expectation that the campus’s drug of choice is Weed and she was proved correct but did not expect the social expectations about smoking weed:
“Social phenomenon of going smoking…smoking outside, at night like “I’m going to go take a smoke, who wants to come with me?” and that was somewhere where a lot of social connections were being made and that a lot of friendships and stuff were being more solidified where I was just totally not… there was something about… because it was different when I would hang out with people pregaming for an event, but I didn’t think it would be super comfortable hanging out with people whose sole purpose in leaving their room to hang out was to smoke. I don’t think that would be fun and also smoking, in general, isn’t fun for me to be around just because of the smell and sometimes I get a headache…
Conclusion
Upon reviewing the two interviews with the sober individuals on campus, I noticed that there were some things that both Megan and Grace agreed on and some things that led them to different experiences. As mentioned at the beginning of this essay, there is no one size fits all definition of sobriety or way to be sober, both of the interviewees brought this up. Describing how sobriety is often deeply personal and experiences vary greatly between even two individuals. Another finding that was interesting is that both of the interviewees feel like the Warren Wilson Culture is accepting of sober students, “Passively Accepting” as Grace put it, but not necessarily actively supporting them. Talking with Megan, they seemed interested in expanding the outreach and voices of students interested in sobriety on campus, while Grace questioned the existence of a sense of comradery with the folks living in the wellness dorm. Somewhere where Grace and Footheads’ experiences diverged in an interesting way, was when they were asked if they feel like being sober is a part of their identity. Megan says yes, that it is very important to them, owing a lot of where they are now to the fact that they are sober, however, they feel like they refrain from using the label of “sober”. While Grace says that no, but in certain contexts maybe it does show up, but she says considering all the identities that make her who she is, Grace doesn’t feel like sobriety is really one of them.
Doing this Ethnography really allowed me to become critically aware of my own assumptions about sobriety and also the socially informed expectations of sobriety. The campus culture at Warren Wilson College does not particularly resonate with a lot of sober values as brought up by my subjects, however, they will not let that take away from their experience as some may believe. Putting labels and assumptions on an institution can allow for people’s identities and needs to be swept out of sight or diminished, and I think that this campus could really benefit from more resources and harm-reduction programming to help students feel like they have a place to be heard and have a sense of belonging when they don’t fit into the oxymoronic “mainstream counterculture” that is Warren Wilson’s party culture.
