In the Cards: Expectations
Iris Seaton | February 2, 2023
A new chapter is unfolding. A new semester for students, or a simple promise of spring. Things are changing already, and they won’t be slowing down anytime soon. What are your expectations? What do you need?
Focus on a number– 1 or 2 Then scroll to reveal your card.
1
Six of Wands - Accomplishments, success, recognition
In the era before the one unfolding now, what are you proud of having accomplished? What were you recognized for? What challenges did you emerge from triumphant? Whatever it is that you have in mind, it’s time to consider exactly what these accomplishments mean to you now. You should be proud of what you’ve done; it wasn’t easy. Maybe there were times when you thought it was impossible. But you’ve finished, you’ve made it through, you’re here.
There are several things to acknowledge now. First is that simple joy of having succeeded. You should carry this with you and use it as a reminder of your capability — a reserve supply of trust to draw upon if and when you find yourself doubting your own abilities. Second, be aware of how your past successes are coloring your beliefs about the future. Yes, it is of the utmost importance that you use your successes as a battery to charge your understanding about what has yet to unfold. However, this can quickly become the stubborn belief that you have been permanently changed by the experience. That in one way or another you are ‘fixed’ compared to past failures or shortcomings, and that you can expect to succeed over and over again now that you’ve reached the peak of your last challenge.
Maybe this is true! Maybe whatever it was that you’ve finished up was such a monumental piece of progress that you no longer have to worry about certain things. Nonetheless, it will always be important to manage your expectations. You’ve made it through. This is wonderful news. But making it through doesn’t mean you’re finished, it means you get to keep going. You are a complex, ever-evolving human being. Your journey will never truly be over. This means that your successes are sources of happiness — of growth. They are checkpoints to look back on for strength, guidance and understanding. But they are not always indicative of a permanent change. This belief can sneak up on you, and if you do struggle again — as human beings almost always do in one way or another — past success can begin to feel like distant mockery from some ‘other you.’
Cling too hard to your victories and they may become a separate entity. Without an understanding of the complexities of your being, your success can become a roadblock. ‘My success meant nothing. My accomplishments were just a fluke. I’m a fraud. I’ve changed for the worse.’ This sort of self-talk can go on and on into the distance when you believe that your accomplishments are always indicative of a permanent change in your life.
There is a fine line between pride in yourself and false beliefs. It will always be tempting when you see positive change to believe that you no longer have to worry about difficulties you’ve faced in the past. Search for that balance between increased trust in yourself, and understanding that life is turbulent, unknowable and strange. With this understanding, falling down is only another chance to get back up, stand straighter and smile at whatever dark clouds are on the horizon.
2
King of Cups - Balance, emotional maturity, self-awareness
Do you trust yourself to take control of your emotions? To find balance in new beginnings, whatever that looks like for you? Do you think you’ll be able to remain open to whatever is coming your way or are you worried you may lose control of your emotions in some way?
Expecting failure can be a natural instinct for some. This isn’t a character flaw, it’s your mind trying to protect itself. If you’re expecting to fail, you may believe it will be easier for you to handle when it ‘inevitably’ does happen. However, allowing yourself to believe that you have little to no control over your emotions, internal processes or even the trajectory of your life itself, is a self-fulfilling prophecy. When you believe that you have no control over your emotions, you give yourself an excuse to spiral out of control. It may be a strange comfort now, the idea that you can predict how you’ll react to life’s difficulties, even if your prediction is that you’ll handle them poorly. At least you know what’s going to happen. If you expect misery and an absence of willpower, you’ll be waiting with open arms to receive it the moment something doesn’t go your way.
Of course, trusting your ability to regulate, to move towards mastery of your emotional wellbeing, is not something that happens overnight — especially if you tend to be an anxious person prone to self-doubt, like so many of us are.
The idea of gathering the willpower to gather more willpower probably sounds daunting. So here’s a first step: imagine a brighter future. Imagine yourself calm and collected even in the face of adversity. Tell yourself over and over again, whenever you can, it will be alright.