Sami’s Advice Column: Issue One
Sami Weinstein | November 16, 2020
Hey Sami,
Straight cis boys on campus think it’s okay to sexually harass female identifying students on campus, can I beat them up?
Hey Anonymous,
Well, while most girls including myself admire your chivalry, unfortunately violence is never the answer. While I can’t say what goes on in someone’s head leading them to think that this type of behavior is okay, I can tell you that to fix this we need to help them relearn the correct way to treat a person, especially females. While I know that this isn’t a woman’s job and it shouldn’t be, if we want a change we have to make it happen. Preferably, in a non violent manner. We need to help boys remember that women are not objects, but people who deserve the same rights and respect as any other human being.
Need more information on sexual harassment and what to do if it happens to you? Please email Mariel Epstein Olsen at mepstein@warren-wilson.edu and let her know. While I am happy to give you advice, she can give you strategies to deal with these issues a bit more effectively than I can. Mariel is the Director of Student Well-Being, which is a center that provides holistic and cozy spaces for students to access and explore resiliency, well-being, and healthy relationships. She’d be more than happy to talk to you. No one should feel unsafe at WWC.
You can also schedule an appointment with the Counseling Center and meet with one of four counselors who are available to speak with you. To do so, visit their scheduling page.
Best,
Sami
Hey Sami,
I have gotten to know someone since being on campus, and we have become close friends. Over our friendship, I have developed feelings for her. I feel like she might reciprocate, but I’m not sure because she is a very compassionate person, and she might just be super nice. I want to let her know how I feel, but I am extra wary of ruining our friendship, especially since I’ve had bad experiences with toxic and confusing friendship/relationship problems in the past. What do I do?
Sincerely, Maybe Unrequited.
Hey Maybe Unrequited,
First, let me start off by saying I’m so sorry for all the toxic relationships you’ve had to deal with in the past. I know how hard it is to move on with your life when you go through something like that. It is never easy. A lot of times, after being with someone toxic, we tend to build our walls up higher than ever and it’s hard to trust someone again. It’s very understandable.
Moving forward, you only live once. I know, how cliche that may sound, but it’s true. You need to feel whatever you feel fully, and if you are as close to this person as you believe, they will understand. No matter what, if your relationship with this person is as secure as you said, then they won’t leave you, whether they feel the same way or not.
I know being vulnerable and letting someone know how you feel is hard. In fact, it’s probably something most people struggle with. But, be brave. You deserve answers. And, if she likes you, you could have something even better than a friendship. If she doesn’t feel the same way then truly it is her loss, but now you get to move on. You get to find someone that will love you the way you love them, and the way you deserve to be loved. Never settle for less than what you want.
Toxic relationships and friendships can ruin a lot of things, but learning to trust someone again and letting them close to your heart is a beautiful thing. Please remember that what happened in the past, should stay in the past, if you want to look forward to the future. Nothing worthwhile happens quickly, so be patient and trust that whoever this girl is that stole your heart, she won’t hurt it. So tell her how you feel, tell her everything you’ve kept to yourself and let your heart lead the way. The best people are the ones that stay, even if it’s not in the way we thought and wanted them to.
Best,
Sami
Need some advice or just another voice to settle a dispute! If you want the submission to stay anonymous please say “anon!” All submissions should be submitted to me through this google form. Thanks!
