Dear Straight Girls
Alexandra Gore | April 25, 2024
Dear straight girls,
Hi. My name is Alex and I am queer. I like queer because I hate specific labels.
I have never identified as straight — I guess I have never really identified as much of anything — and I have lived an interesting 18 years as a female-presenting person, a lot of it having to do with straight girls.
Straight girls, I love you! I really do. And no, I am not coming onto you by saying that. I will also not kiss you in the bathroom when you are six shots deep because you swear you are straight but seem to love the idea of my Aquafor’d lips in this dim light.
In my gentrified hometown where being gay is as common as a bubble gum tree growing in your gut, I was awarded the label “token lesbian.” Never in my life have I been approached by random people with so many questions. How did you know you were gay? Is scissoring real? Are you secretly dating your best friend?
Thanks to white feminism, hating men has become a trend these past few years. I watched the same girls who stopped being friends with me because their boyfriends feared a flirty dyke friend turn against said boyfriend because ugh! We are so tired of the male species!!
“Aren’t you… into men?”
“Unfortunately!!”
Unfortunately became my number one public enemy. Unfortunately, I like men. Unfortunately, middle school boys did not follow me around chanting “lesbo.” Unfortunately, my rights are not a constant topic of debate in legislation.
Let’s play a game of “Never Have I Ever.” Ready? Okay.
Never have I ever told everyone that I am so over men and that it must be time to “go gay.”
…
Listen, I am all for experimenting with your sexuality. And for the love of God, everything is fluid! Nothing is real, nothing is certain! But queerness is not something that should be looked at as a safe haven from your unsatisfying Tinder hookups.
Straight girls, I hate to break it to you, but dating non-men is actually no easier than dating men. Let me explain with three words: First Lesbian Heartbreak.
My first lesbian heartbreak happened in my junior year of high school. God forbid she finds this article (if she does… hi Rachel… lol). The demise did not just leave me with crusty tear-filled morning eyes, but also therapy. Years of it!
Every non-man loving non-man I know has experienced this phenomenon, and it SUCKS. Like, seriously, it needs to be studied.
The truth is, whatever “icks” you find in men still exist in non-men alike. Deciding that you want to start liking girls because men are not doing it for you will bring you no more satisfaction, because the truth is, love is hard no matter who you are sharing it with.
I love loving girls. There are so many special things about loving who I love, and I understand why that is admirable to those who only like men. But, get this: there are also special qualities that come with loving men! As much as we have been bred to believe it, men are not scary beings who have to be avoided at all costs. Maybe the ones you swipe right on are, but the same goes for non-men too. Nobody is immune to red flags, no matter how you identify.